Tales from the Tropics : Jolly Harbour Review

There are a couple of lifestyles that you might choose to be in Jolly Harbour (to live and on vacation/holiday) and many people come year after year across the whole year on holiday. Its popularity is that it offers turnkey home away from home style living.

Jolly Harbour is also about buying a second holiday home for British American and Canadians. If you are thinking about that read this. I’m just saying be informed and don’t believe everything you read online especially if it is Tales from the Tropics which is loosely based on funny real things that happened.

The Good Points

The Tennis

I wasn’t able to easily hook into anyones playing ability and ‘have a hit’ but lessons were available though as expensive as anywhere. So I reman unable to capitalise on the impressive looking courts. But for me I would have to say its a great facility and if you play with someone already its good value (as it should be since you already pay in the community fees)

Bars and Restaurants

OMG – stop adding 15% and 10% to the bloody bills. We know you don’t pay all the tax due and we know you already accounted for that. And as for service charge if I had my own menu it would simply state

“Please do not tip the animals (staff) they are well paid and happy to serve you”

– If you don’t understand that try

‘dear mr restaurant owner I appreciate that your porsche didn’t come cheap, still out of that 10 dollars for the plate of food costing you 2 to buy and prepare I would appreciate if you took some of that 10 dollars and paid your own ‘fcuking’ staff instead of asking me to pony up again (smily face).

again quite frankly I can do without the stress of deciding how much (well done Antigua on deciding to limit it to 10% but then look at the 25% you are adding ! come on..). How the hell the USA managed to export such a ludicrously transparent money for old rope tax is beyond me.

Where was I  (rant over)? Oh yes the good points is that the bars + restaurants are good and a bit more westernised and you can watch sport in the Crows Nest. We really liked the italian restaurant next to the gardens in the main complex (edit :called Mellini’s) however – full marks minus 10% for an overly cold beer and 25% for an unclipped fairylight and not having a memorable name.


The accommodations we have stayed in are not toddler friendly just in the back side docks which have always too big gaps in the trestles otherwise they have been fair to good. We did arrive in the first place and I kid you not the floor was drying from being re-grouted. I would have preferred not to have delt with the dusty floor for 5 days so thanks for letting us know before we booked (I spoke directly to the owner who had forgotten this important fact) but it was adequate in other ways if lacking charm as I find the 2 bedroom places can. In our latest place the cockroaches made us feel most unwelcome and I have been doing as the old English explorers used to do and shooting them on site. I have baited no less than 12 traps for those that are more stealthy and have evaded execution on site. In a fit of anger I did use the sole of my flip flop last night on one and Emily insisted they (the reefs (flipflops)) now stay ‘outside’ as they are now contaminated. Finding long term rentals has been difficult and we are still paying weekly vacationer style rents – consequently I have had to cut back on gambling and other more salubrious affairs of the heart.

If you would like to read more of this kind of thing try clicking on the tag ‘Tales from the Tropics

Bad Points

As much as I protest below in tales of the tropics style (TM) I have to say that I am still here !  And that you will probably have a great time here too.

The Pool

(the following is possibly not going to be an issue for you.)

The pool was often murky and I found it hard to do lengths as I couldn’t see bottom to keep straight especially an issue if you try to keep to a line to not bump into anyone. The latter point leads me on to how busy it gets with kids having a great time of course but for you how will you plan to be here – worth a consideration if your on vacation as adults only.

The pool also closes at 6 p.m. the pool isn’t big enough (its not a small pool though) and must be hell come high season. They need also to take care with the chlorination as it has been way over top at time again ruining my swim as my eyes were stinging so much even with goggles.

The Beach

As in the normal case for beaches in Antigua its kind of like trying to find a bad looking girl in Scandinavia, Jolly beach and South Beach deliver on the promise :

Fine sand (sand castles are my speciality)

GREAT water – I mean gorgeous non of that OHHH – its a bit fresh (cold) here it is the perfect 29 C

cooling trade winds

water sports, hobby cat  – jet ski, or just swim it’s just great that you are lucky enough to be here to be doing it.

The cost of electricity

Hitting the owners and/or the long term renter (in fact costs are passed on) so everyone gets to eat the high cost of electricity that is much more than outside of JH. You will find the point at which you need to dial it back and of course you know this already >  JH Bods th@t own JH. So please in the general Antigua interest get back on the national grid we will start to LOVE you !

It’s not the guys fault on vacation who has just paid for a self catering apartment that electricity is expensive and the community fee is high – he doesn’t wan’t to be reminded to keep turning the air con OFF ! He has paid you for it at least in his /her mind  ! if you are the kind of person that runs a/c with the doors and windows open this doesn’t apply to you – I think you do need a little bit of education; you cant cool Antigua down by leaving your doors open and the a/c right up – I’m not sure how you found this article and you may not be able to read. Wow those last few words were wasted.

I want to write this particular blog post  in my Tales from the Tropics guise (Trade Mark) and try inject a little humour where the points are non serious or hurting ANYONE – please don’t get angry it is not my intention and is probably making a cockroach somewhere rub his claws together and say ‘hah it wont be long before the human race tear themselves apart..’


2 responses to “Tales from the Tropics : Jolly Harbour Review

  1. Pingback: What are the best beaches in Antigua ? | Best Antigua·

  2. Pingback: What are the best beaches in Antigua ? | Best Antigua·

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